Our New Afghan Neighbors: A Middle Eastern Perspective of Hospitality

I spent six weeks without ever seeing a cloud in the sky. This made the sunlight often feel heavy as I walked through streets on spring days where the temperature fought hard to reach 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Pops of bright red fire trees were prominent through the haze of the desert dust that constantly clouded the city. This is what I picture when I remember my summer in Cairo, Egypt. I also recall a partial loss of independence that quickly became familiar due to crowds of people everywhere I went. The crowded manner of life seemed like chaos to me as an American woman from a highly individualistic-driven culture, but as I began to see past the culture shock I was experiencing, I recognized a relational pattern of living that I admired so deeply about Egyptians and Middle Eastern culture as a whole.

Sharing a city with 20 million other people meant that I never felt alone and certainly always felt seen (although this was partially because of my light skin that drew attention everywhere I went). This could sometimes irritate my introverted tendencies on days that I wanted to simply blend in. I struggled with reframing my mindset to realize that I was not pushing through 20 million people that overpopulated a city, but instead, I was interacting with people who deeply cared about each other and especially cared for my wellbeing as an outsider.

Community interaction and hospitality are Middle Eastern cultural necessities, but without proper understanding, we as Westerners might be left confused, irritated, or drained by their actions. It’s important to take note of these priorities in a time where we are welcoming new neighbors into America. Just like my integration into community was prioritized by Egyptians who recognized my vulnerability as a foreigner, we should care extensively for our new neighbors through striving to understand how they relate to community.

As I sometimes felt smothered or overwhelmed by everyone around me, I imagine that Afghans who are adjusting to new rhythms of life in America feel many of the same intensity of emotions that culture shock brings, but they may carry feelings of abandonment and isolation when they are not familiar with our mostly individual-focused culture.

How can we lay down our cultural comforts to love others in ways that are familiar to them?

In the Middle East, it is naturally assumed that people are involved in each other’s lives. A stranger at the market is not a stranger, but rather a neighbor who you are responsible to look after for the brief encounter you may have with them. How can our love for our neighbors be guided by this understanding? Sometimes we have to break cultural normative to engage with Kingdom culture, which draws us to take interest in others and trust that we will still be cared for too.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2: 3-4