Why Me?
In Exodus, God meets Moses in a burning bush and calls him to be a leader and deliver the Israelites out of captivity. Moses’ response to God’s mighty call is, “Who am I that I should go?” (Exodus 3:11 ESV). Moses struggles with an identity issue linked to feelings of inadequacy that he perceives disqualifies him from being useful to God. “I am not eloquent” (Exodus 4:10), Moses utters when God calls him to use his voice, which is the specific struggle that Moses believes has defected his identity and eliminated his potential. God already knew everything that Moses fears would limit his effectiveness as a leader. “Who has made man’s mouth? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak” (Exodus 4:11-12).
We would hope at this point Moses trusts God despite his perceived disability, but Moses continues to plead with God to send someone else. Moses is deeply struggling with an identity question that blinds him from trusting in God’s anointing. Moses struggles with the identity question of, “Why me?”
We see in Judges another leader who battles with his identity when God calls him to lead as a “mighty man of valor” (Judges 6:12). God meets with Gideon while he is threshing wheat to hide from the Midianites and is calling him out of hiding to actually face the Midianites and save Israel. “How can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest… and I am the least in my Father’s house” (Judges 6:15). Gideon views himself as weak, and God’s call painfully pokes at his identity issue of, “Why me?”
God offers Moses and Gideon the same words to silence their fears of inadequacy and weakness. “I will be with you,” (Exodus 3:12 & Judges 6:16). Shouldn’t those words of comfort silence the insecure thoughts we have about ourselves? No matter how weak or damaged we perceive ourselves to be, shouldn’t we be comforted by the presence of Him who is our strength?
How often do we stall when God speaks by listing everything that gives us the sense that we have a greater understanding of ourselves and our strengths and weaknesses than the One who created us? We offer God our lists of why nots way more readily than we offer Him our obedience. In doing this, we hide behind our much larger identity question of, “Why me?” Maybe it’s easier to turn our eyes away from the needs God impresses within us because we would rather neglect the fact that we are called than ever face the identity questions that poke at the most fragile parts of our imperfect hearts.
Whenever we measure the distance between what we are and who we think we need to be in order to walk in obedience, it is natural for us to ask questions like, “Why me?” But before we start listing imperfections or creating a checklist of what we need to do in order to fit our idea of worthiness, we need to look at God’s response to our big question.
“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’…How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, ‘Why was I born?’ or if it said to its mother, ‘Why did you make me this way?’ This is what the Lord says… ‘Do you question what I do for my children? Do you give me orders about the work of my hands? I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it. I will raise up [my anointed] to fulfill my righteous purpose, and I will guide [their] actions’” (Isaiah 45:9-13 NLT).
Obedience doesn’t allow us to ask the kind of questions that stall our response to God’s call. When God invites us to something greater than ourselves, we should respond in trust that He is faithful and will answer what we do not know and be what we feel we lack.
Reflection questions:
What is God inviting us to collectively? (Hint: look places like Matthew 28:19-20 and Mark 12:30-31)
What is God inviting me to specifically? (Only you can know what God is impressing upon you through the guidance of the Holy Spirit)
How might I be stalling in response to God’s invitations?
What “why me” identity issues do I face?
What is one small step of obedience I can take to display trust in God’s faithfulness?